HOME ALONE – IS YOUR CHILD READY?

Answers to your questions from Mann Gordon Hussey LLC, the Family Law firm.*

*Adapted from North Dakota Department of Human Services, Children and Family Services Division, Child Protective Services.

The ultimate responsibility for the safety, care, well-being and behavior of children remains with the parent or caregiver, whether you are there to personally supervise them or not.

There is no Kansas state statute regarding when a child may be left home alone and without adult supervision, although there are some implied “rules” and these commonsense suggestions to consider.

A child left alone should be able to demonstrate knowledge of where their parent(s) or other responsible adults are, how to reach them, and the length of time the caregiver(s) will be absent. Children should know about emergency procedures and arrangements for emergency situations – like what to do if there is a fire.

A parent needs to first honestly answer the question of whether the child is ready for self-care? There are both risks and opportunities associated with self-care. Parents need to carefully decide whether self-care is appropriate for their child. Most parents are aware of risks from accidents, fire, or harm from strangers and make special efforts to address those threats with their children. There are also dangers to a child’s emotional wellbeing. Children in self-care must deal with feelings of loneliness, boredom, fear, rejection, and insecurity. The increased responsibility for chores and care of siblings may be more than your child is ready to handle. Sometimes, older siblings physically or sexually abuse a younger child left in their care. Teenagers can turn their fear and loneliness inward, leading to depression. Experimenting with sex, drugs, alcohol, and tobacco are much more likely with teens in self-care. Peer pressure can also be a negative influence, which a child may not have the confidence to overcome. Children can also gain an increased sense of self-confidence, responsibility, and independence from self-care.

Age alone is not the only factor, but children aged 0 to 4 years old should always be in the view of their caregiver while outside the home. Inside the home, the caregiver should be available to provide immediate care and protection from harm. Children of this age should not be left alone in any vehicle, unless they are in the direct view of the caregiver and are restrained where they cannot put the vehicle in gear.

Children 8 years old and under should be supervised with a caregiver available. An 8-year-old should not be left in charge of other children.

Children 9 years old should not be left unsupervised for periods greater than two hours during the daytime, and a child of this age should not be left unsupervised at night and should not supervise other children.

Children who are 10 and 11 years old may be left alone at home for longer periods of time, however, caution should be exercised when leaving a child of this age unsupervised during sleeping hours. Children this age should generally not be responsible for younger siblings or other children.

Children who are 12 years old and older may be ready to act as babysitters for other children. Successful completion of an approved childcare training course is recommended. Parents are cautioned before leaving a child aged 12-17 alone as the caregiver for other children or their siblings to consider the number of children left in care, the length of time for caregiving responsibility, any special needs of the children left in care, and the resources available to the child providing the care.

Encourage your child to discuss feelings about being left home alone and help the child to talk about any fears so they feel safe. Establish clear and consistent ground rules to avoid confusion about your expectations. Careful planning can help to ensure physical safety and emotional well-being for your child.

Consider these other factors and questions to ask yourself as a parent:

• How does your child feel about the situation or being left home alone?
• Consider the child’s age in relationship to the child’s growth, behavior, maturity and judgment.
• What will be the responsibilities of the child when left alone (or in the care of other children)? Is the child able to handle those responsibilities?
• How long will the child be left alone? The first few times should be quite short or brief and then as the child gains confidence in their safety and self-care, you will be able to gradually increase their time left alone.
• What are the risks to the child’s safety if left home alone (fire, accidents, burglary, etc.)?
• Can your child say no to peer pressure if friends encourage the child to break rules in your presence?

Safety Tips to consider before leaving a child home alone:

• Remove fire hazards and install smoke detectors.
• Hold fire drills (just your child has at school) with each child “practicing” what to do and where to go in case of a fire.
• Teach your child basic first aid and have a first aid kit available.
• Have your child practice calling 911 and providing their full address and directions. Put these address details and your telephone number (and the numbers of other relatives or adults) in a location accessible to the child.
• Review safety rules with your child, such not playing with scissors, knives, matches, etc.
• Teach your child when and if to answer the door and phone. Warn your child never to let strangers into the home.
• Instruct your child to never tell callers they are home alone. They should instead say that a parent is busy and offer to take a message. If a call seems suspicious, they should call you or another adult.
• Have a clear understanding about use of ovens, stoves, and other appliances.
• Provide projects, materials, and/or activities for the child, as well as healthy snacks.
• Set up an emergency plan with a relative, friend, or neighbor who may be unable to care for your child but who is willing to be called by the child to offer reassurance or advice in “small emergencies” when you are unavailable by phone.
• Establish a daily routine in which your child calls you (or a designated adult) when they arrive home.
• If your child comes home alone after school, provide keys to the house and “fun” key chain for them, but caution the child not to carry the keys in plain sight lest they signal they are on their own.
• Arrange after school activities for your child, such a club, sports, or the library. Arrange transportation sharing with other parents.

When you return home, praise your child for doing a good job. You may be pleasantly surprised at how readily and how well your child assumes responsibility when fully prepared and given the opportunity.