If there is one thing you can be sure of in your divorce, it is that you will be given plenty of advice. Well-intentioned neighbors, cousins, and even complete strangers will be happy to tell you war stories about their own divorces or about their sister who got divorced 10 years ago in Canada. Many will insist they know what you should do, even though they know nothing about the specific facts of your case or the current law in Kansas.
But there is one person whose advice will matter to you: your attorney. Your lawyer should be your trusted and supportive advocate throughout your divorce. The counsel of your attorney can affect your life for years to come. You will never regret taking the time and energy to choose the right one for you.
See your relationship with your attorney as a partnership for pursuing what is most important to you. With clear and open attorney-client communication, you will achieve the best outcome possible, and your entire divorce process will be less stressful.
By working closely with the right lawyer, you can trust the professional advice you receive and can simply thank your cousin Millie for sharing.
How do I choose the right attorney?
Choosing the right attorney for your divorce is an important decision. Your attorney should be a trusted and experienced professional with whom you feel comfortable sharing information openly. He or she should be an advisor you can trust and an advocate for your interests.
You will rely upon your attorney to help you make many decisions throughout the course of your divorce. You will also entrust your legal counsel to make a range of strategic and procedural decisions on your behalf.
Consultation for a divorce might be your first meeting with a lawyer. Know that attorneys want to be supportive and to fully inform you. Feel free to seek all the information you need to help you feel secure in knowing you have made the right choice.
Find an attorney who practices exclusively in the family law area, like all the attorneys at Mann Gordon Hussey. Although many attorneys “handle” divorces or sometimes dabble in this area of the law, it is likely you will have more effective representation at a lower cost from an attorney who already knows the fundamentals of divorce law in Kansas. Kansas does not recognize practice area specialization, so you will need to rely upon other indicators of the attorney’s expertise, such as current membership in the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers association, or the Johnson County Family Law Inn of Court.
Determine the level of experience you want in your attorney. For example, if you have had a short marriage, have no children, and few assets, an attorney with less experience might be a good value for your legal needs. However, if you are anticipating a custody dispute, have had a long-term marriage, or have complex business or substantial assets, a more experienced attorney may better meet your needs.
Consider the qualities in an attorney that are important to you. Even the most experienced and skilled attorney is not right for every person. Ask yourself what you are really looking for in an attorney so you can make your choice with these standards in mind.
It is important that you be confident in the attorney you hire. If you are unsure about whether the lawyer is really listening to you or understanding your concerns, keep looking until you find one who will. Your divorce is an important matter. It is critical that you have a professional you can trust.
Should I hire a “bulldog”—a very aggressive attorney?
Consider the qualities in an attorney that are important to you. A “bulldog” may promise to be overly aggressive and take your spouse for everything he or she is worth. However, it may be important to you to create a mutually respectful relationship with your spouse during and after the divorce, especially if there are minor children involved.
Additionally, expect the cost of your divorce to exponentially increase if your attorney is unwilling to negotiate and drags your spouse into court at every opportunity. Look for a lawyer who can represent and advocate for your interests and objectives, while at the same time maintaining a high level of courtesy, professionalism, and integrity.
My spouse says since we are still friends we should use the same attorney for the divorce. Is this a good idea?
Even the most amicable of divorcing couples usually have differing interests. For this reason, it is never recommended that an attorney represent both parties to a divorce. In most cases, an attorney is ethically prohibited from representing two people with conflicting interests who are in dispute.
Sometimes couples have reached agreements without understanding all their rights under the law. A client often will benefit from receiving further legal advice on matters such as tax considerations, retirement, and health insurance issues.
It is not uncommon for one party to retain an attorney and for the other party not to do so. In such cases, the party with the attorney files the petition, and written agreements reached between the parties are typically sent to the spouse for approval prior to any court hearing. If your spouse has filed for divorce and said that you do not need an attorney, you should nevertheless meet with a lawyer for advice on how proceeding without a lawyer could affect your legal rights.
What information should I bring with me to the first meeting with my attorney?
Attorneys differ on the amount of information they like to see at an initial consultation. If you have a prenuptial or postnuptial agreement with your spouse, that is an important document for you to provide at the outset of your case.
If you intend to ask for support, either for yourself or for your children, documents showing the gross income (the total, not just take-home pay) of both you and your spouse will also be useful. These might include:
- Recent pay stubs
- Individual and business tax returns, W-2s, K-1s, and 1099s
- Bank statements showing deposits
- A statement of your monthly budget
Your attorney will ask you to complete a questionnaire at or prior to the time of your first meeting. Preparing this questionnaire in advance can allow you to provide more complete information and to make the most of your appointment time with the lawyer.
If your situation is urgent or you do not have access to these documents, do not let it stop you from scheduling your appointment with an attorney. Prompt legal advice about your rights is often more important than having detailed financial information in the beginning. Your attorney can explain to you the options for obtaining these financial records if they are not readily available to you.
Can I bring my children to meetings with my attorney?
It is best to make other arrangements for your children when you meet with your attorney. Your attorney will be giving you a great deal of important information during your conferences, and it will help you to give your full attention to the meeting.
It is also recommended that you take every measure to keep information about the legal aspects of your divorce away from your children. Knowledge that you are seeing an attorney can add to your child’s anxiety about the process. It can also make your child a target for questioning by the other parent about your contacts with your attorney.
Most law offices are not designed to accommodate young children and are ordinarily not “child-proof.” For both your child’s wellbeing and your own peace of mind, explore options for a trusted adult or family member to care for your child when you have meetings with your attorney.
Can I get free legal advice from a lawyer over the phone?
Every law firm has its own policy regarding lawyers talking to people who are not yet clients of the firm. Most questions about your divorce are too complex for a lawyer to give a meaningful answer during a brief phone call.
Questions about your divorce require a complete look at the facts, circumstances, and background of your marriage. To obtain good legal advice, it is best to schedule an initial consultation with a lawyer who handles divorces. Most attorneys who focus their practice on family law do not provide free office consultations.
Will I be charged for an initial consultation with a lawyer?
It depends. Some young or inexperienced lawyers give free consultations, while most seasoned family law attorneys charge a fee. When scheduling your appointment, you should be told the amount or rate of the consultation fee you will be charged. Payment is ordinarily due at the end of the consultation.
Is there any way I can reduce some of the expenses of getting a divorce?
Litigation of any kind can be expensive, and divorces are no exception. The good news is that there are many ways that you can help control the expense. Here are some of them.
Put It in Writing.
If you need to relay information that is important but not urgent, consider providing it to your attorney by email. This creates a prompt and accurate record for your file and takes less time than exchanging multiple phone messages.
Keep Your Attorney Informed.
Just as your attorney should keep you up to date on the status of your case, you need to do the same. Keep your lawyer advised about any major developments in your life such as plans to: move; have a third-party move into your home; change your employment status; or buy or sell any property.
During your divorce, if your contact information changes, be sure to notify your attorney. Your attorney may need to reach you with information and reaching you in a timely manner may help avoid more costly fees later.
Obtain Copies of Documents.
An important part of litigation includes reviewing documents such as tax returns, account statements, child report cards, or medical records. Your attorney will ordinarily be able to request or subpoena these items, but many may be readily available to you directly upon request.
Consult Your Attorney’s Website.
If your lawyer has a website, it may be a great source of useful information. The answers to commonly asked questions about the divorce process can often be found there.
Utilize Support Professionals.
Get to know the support staff at your lawyer’s office. Although only attorneys can give you legal advice, the attorney’s paralegal may be able to answer your questions regarding the status of your case. Just as your communication with your attorney, all communication with any professionals in a law firm is required to be kept strictly confidential.
Leave a Detailed Message.
If your attorney knows the information you are seeking, she or he can often prepare the answer before returning your call or email. This not only gets you the answer faster but also can reduce your costs.
Discuss More than One Matter During a Call or Email.
It is not unusual for clients to have many questions during litigation. If your question is not urgent, consider waiting to call or email until you have more than one inquiry. But, never hesitate to call or email to ask any legal questions.
Provide Timely Responses to Information Requests.
Whenever possible, provide information requested by your lawyer in a timely manner. This avoids the cost of follow-up action by your lawyer or their paralegal and the additional expense of extending the time in litigation.
Carefully Review Your Monthly Statements.
Scrutinize your monthly billing statements closely. If you believe an error has been made, contact your lawyer’s office right away to discuss your concerns.
Remain Open to Settlement.
Recognize that when your disagreement concerns financial matters, the value of money in dispute may be less than the amount it will cost to go to trial. By doing your part, you can use your legal fees wisely and control the costs of your divorce.